The Burning Question: Week 5

This week did return to exercising, though not every day. Had an "ah ha" moment when I realized (re-realized) the whole reason you select big rocks each week is to actually put them on your schedule (duh). So I resolved the following week I'd make sure I would do that.

In a previous post I talked about cluttered mind = cluttered environment in reference to people who have cluttered homes. I agreed, but also thought it a glib simplification. Here's a deeper exploration -- one of the things that does clutter our minds and manifests itself in a "cluttered" emotional life is when we hold grudges or find ourselves unable to forgive and forget past wrongs. These festering inner wounds cloud our judgements and can cause us to make choices that ruin our chances to live a joyful productive life. I found this article about it:

Importance of Forgiveness (and Denial)

In a series of studies, Sandra Murray of the University of Buffalo and John Holmes of the University of Waterloo in Ontario have shown that people often idealize their partners, overestimating their strengths and playing down their flaws.

This typically involves a blend of denial and touch-up work — seeing jealousy as passion, for instance, or stubbornness as a strong sense of right and wrong. But the studies have found that partners who idealize each other in this way are more likely to stay together and to report being satisfied in the relationship than those who do not.

“The evidence suggests that if you see the other person in this idealized way, and treat them accordingly, they begin to see themselves that way, too,” Dr. Murray said. “It draws out these more positive behaviors.”

One of the best examples of this in art is the play/movie "Man of La Mancha" Dulcenea scene based on Cervantes', Don Quixote. Don Quixote refuses to see Dulcenea for what she it, a woman of ill repute. Instead he idealizes her; in the end bringing out the best in her character. The play didn't make this easy. She was brutally raped right after Don Quixote sang the Dulcena ballad. Don Quixote himself seemed to give up his quest after being beat down time and time again, re-embracing it only in the final moments of his life.

Despite it's schmaltzy romanticism (or because of it) this song has always had real meaning for me because it's romanticism maintained in the face of harsh reality. The refusal to give in to cynicism even when feeling battered and betrayed.



The burning question is: how do we make this ideal a reality?