At summer camp last week, I also faced my fear of drowning and had a "scuba experience" -- half day of scuba for beginners. I wanted to experience a little of what my son was doing since he was getting his PADI certification. I had never scuba dived before and had only learned how to snorkel four year before, the last time we went to Catalina Island with scouts. I initially panicked when we started to actually breath underwater, but I overcame it and progressed to actually going on a short dive. Where I lost it was when I looked up and realized how deep under the water I was. I started hyperventilating and had to get to the surface. It was embarrassing since there were all these young kids doing it, too, and they seemed to be enjoying the experience. The instructor, a young French-Canadian woman, kept encouraging me to trust the equipment and, "just keep breathing. Remember, the surface is only a feet away."
With those words in my head I went back out again and faced my fears. I wasn't entirely successful in vanquishing them, but I will never forget the life lesson I learned that day -- When you begin to panic just keep breathing. The surface is only a few feet away.
Last week my son and I went to summer scout camp on Catalina. One of the things I did for several trips was bring my sketch book to make drawings. However I never did. My excuse in the past was usually my involvement in "scout management." I think another secret reason was that others would mock me for being an artist and think me not manly enough for boy scouts. Most of the other scout leaders were men who did manly things like hunting, fishing, riding dune buggies, etc. I didn't want to seem the prissy artsy man.
One thing that really helped me overcome this was my son. Last year he became very serious about his art and at the end of the school year he said, "Dad, I'd love to spend some time with you this summer sketching." I realized that I was avoiding doing something that was a special gift. How many dads can proudly declare they are artists (though I would never claim I'm a great one).
Another thing was that recently did some sketches for a visualization of a project at work. They were incredibly well received. I realized that I had a unique skill not many others possess. One that is prized not despised.
The confluence of these two events woke the artist in me and I took some time to sketch in camp. The results were surprising. The drawings were not half-bad, but what really surprised me was the reaction of the other men. They expressed surprise and appreciation for what I did and even asked me to use my artistic skills to help with two things when we had the Aquacade, a kind of camp Olympics, the last day of camp. For the scoutmaster belly flop the scoutmaster had to wear a costume. They asked me to paint something on the body of an assistant scoutmaster. He was rather large so I painted "Save the Whale" on his back and a picture of a happy whale underneath. Everyone loved it. The kids were especially impressed with the whale. I also helped the boys with the sandcastle contest. They wanted to make a soapbox race car. It won second place and our troop won the Aquacade.
A couple days ago at the troop meeting the assistant scoutmaster stood up and publicly praised me for making him look good for the contest. I realized that I need to have more pride in myself an my abilities and not be afraid to be different.
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older Shorter of breath and one day closer to death Time by Pink Floyd
Time flees Time flees, time flies, time flows with or without us. It's been almost 6 months since my last entry. Since then my position at work changed. I'm now in a group that technology strategy and have an opportunity to use my graphic art and multimedia training. A happy advance. An opportunity to seize.
Little by little, step by step I'm continuing to gain control of my life -- exercising more, getting more done. The key for me is early to bed, early to rise.
Latitude, Letterman, and Longitude In a recent article for the Journal of Labor Economics, “Cues for Timing and Coordination: Latitude, Letterman, and Longitude,” authors Daniel S. Hamermesh, Caitlin Knowles Myers, and Mark L. Pocock researched the effects of daylight savings 'spring ahead' across the country shows that television, not the sun, determines sleep schedule. Interesting. Seems to be true in my case since late night TV watching seems to be the current main cause of days that are "frittered away." Days I don't give in to this impulse usually are my most productive.
I love the animation in the Pink Floyd video. I desperately want to do one like that. But in the words of Pink Floyd: Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
"I never let school interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
The 7th Covey Habit is Sharpen the Saw. The analogy -- if you spend all your time cutting down trees and never take the time to sharpen your saw, eventually your saw will dull and you won't be able to cut down any more trees. Taking time off, or a well-deserved vacation can be "sharpening" activities, but even better is taking the time to improve yourself, especially education and skill-building. Lifelong learning is something I embrace wholeheartedly. Lifehack lists 15 steps to lifelong learning. They make a lot of sense to me.
Getting On and Off and Back on the Wagon My last entry was over a month ago. Several things conspired to knock me off course, a major project at work for which I stared working nights and weekends, getting sick with a cold that turned into bronchitis, the Christmas and New Year's holidays. I was also knocked off course by winter. My morning exercise suffered. It was too cold and rainy to go outside.
Winter Makes you SAD More than that is seems winter itself is a downer. Research shows As daylight wanes, millions begin to feel depressed, sluggish and socially withdrawn. They also tend to sleep more and eat more. By spring or summer the symptoms abate, only to return the next autumn. There's a name for this -- seasonal affective disorder or SAD. For many winter does literally makes you SAD.
Our Greatest Glory If you are trying to accomplish something it's guaranteed there will be obstacles, both internal and external, that can lead to failure. However, one of the greatest educators in history, Confucius, says -- “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall”.
Or as Kitty Karr, Covey trainer, wrote me in an email "don't give up just cuz you had a bad week, the next week (actually, the next DAY) is a chance to get back on the bandwagon!
Why Chainsaw I picked the video of the chainsaw sculptor to start this piece because it shows what you can do with a properly sharpened saw. Also, in keeping with the fire/firefighter theme of this blog, the chainsaw is one of the main tools use to fight fires. Most of all it shows how something mundane can be used to create a work of art. This epitomizes the Covey spirit of making our mundane lives into a work of art through how we approach each day.
For the first seven weeks after Covey training there was a different theme. I had been ignoring those the last few weeks because there were some things surrounding becoming a more effective person I wanted to discuss. But this week I will discuss the 6th week's theme, synergy, and a surprising outcome.
The 7 habits contract suggests this week to pick an issue at work or at home home—a small one you can effectively address in one meeting. For example, at your job, you might work with others to speed up a process, cut costs on an activity, or resolve a resource issue. At home, you could work with family members to complete a household project or find ways to save money.
I'm part of an innovation group at work. We're searching for new, more effective ways to create training, as well as streamline the processes already in place. One of the things that had been suggested to my supervisor at a recent training by Dan Pink is to look into the use of Manga, Japanese style cartooning, as a training medium because it it is spreading across America like wildfire (if you haven't notice I'm weaving a wilfire metaphor throughout this blog because it was concieved during a wildfire) and it's also an effective way to represent a lot of information on a page. I was put in charge of a group to explore this. Above is the first example of what I produced using a Manga creation application called TOKYOPOP Manga Creator.
I was in shock and very pleasantly surprised at the assignment. When I was offered a job in the corporate world I had basically given up being creative in the way I was before -- creating graphic art, animations, videos, and cartoons. Now I find I can find a creative space in the corporate world. In researching Dan Pink a little more I discovered these videos that mirror my own feelings about how a creative approach to work in our "post-information age" world. However, after years of struggling to make a living I was willing to give up the life of a creative in order to support my family. Now I find I not only don't have to, I should have never considered it in the first place.
This week did return to exercising, though not every day. Had an "ah ha" moment when I realized (re-realized) the whole reason you select big rocks each week is to actually put them on your schedule (duh). So I resolved the following week I'd make sure I would do that.
In a previous post I talked about cluttered mind = cluttered environment in reference to people who have cluttered homes. I agreed, but also thought it a glib simplification. Here's a deeper exploration -- one of the things that does clutter our minds and manifests itself in a "cluttered" emotional life is when we hold grudges or find ourselves unable to forgive and forget past wrongs. These festering inner wounds cloud our judgements and can cause us to make choices that ruin our chances to live a joyful productive life. I found this article about it:
In a series of studies, Sandra Murray of the University of Buffalo and John Holmes of the University of Waterloo in Ontario have shown that people often idealize their partners, overestimating their strengths and playing down their flaws.
This typically involves a blend of denial and touch-up work — seeing jealousy as passion, for instance, or stubbornness as a strong sense of right and wrong. But the studies have found that partners who idealize each other in this way are more likely to stay together and to report being satisfied in the relationship than those who do not.
“The evidence suggests that if you see the other person in this idealized way, and treat them accordingly, they begin to see themselves that way, too,” Dr. Murray said. “It draws out these more positive behaviors.”
One of the best examples of this in art is the play/movie "Man of La Mancha" Dulcenea scene based on Cervantes', Don Quixote. Don Quixote refuses to see Dulcenea for what she it, a woman of ill repute. Instead he idealizes her; in the end bringing out the best in her character. The play didn't make this easy. She was brutally raped right after Don Quixote sang the Dulcena ballad. Don Quixote himself seemed to give up his quest after being beat down time and time again, re-embracing it only in the final moments of his life.
Despite it's schmaltzy romanticism (or because of it) this song has always had real meaning for me because it's romanticism maintained in the face of harsh reality. The refusal to give in to cynicism even when feeling battered and betrayed.
The burning question is: how do we make this ideal a reality?
The potential return of Devil Winds didn't materialize in San Diego. However, they did in Malibu, where more houses were destroyed in the last two days than during last month's fires. We did have a minor incident near Ramona, but crews and equipment were on hand and it was quickly put out. We were prepared here, but not as well in Malibu, though they did put out the fire quickly. It seems lessons were learned, but we'll see if they stay learned.
With the combination of having a major deadline due and the Thanksgiving Holiday I didn't make my exercise goals, but I am finding it much easier to plan my week. The weekly planning and daily reassessment is now becoming a habit. I also checked more lingering items off my to do list and we have been able to clear two more rooms of clutter. Bottom line: I backslid on exercise and advanced in other areas.
One of the reasons I didn't make my early morning exercise goals is I stayed up late more than one evening working on various projects for work and the courses I teach, when perhaps I didn't need to. One of my team mates observed, "You seem uncomfortable writing the High Level Design." I was. When I feel that way about something I tend to slow a process way down until I can get a handle on it. This is a good habit when trying to master unfamiliar things, but not conducive to making deadlines. She simply plunged in, wrote some of the design work, then sent me what she did to help me get started. It did jump start me and I finished the work on time. I was still up late, but didn't have to pull the all-nighter I expected. I need to get to the point where I simply plunge in without hesitation, too.
If It Weren't for the Last Minute However, my normal modus operandi is to think allot about what I need to do, make some stabs at it around the edges, then, just before it's due, scramble to finish. I really want to develop the habit of working ahead and pacing myself. I usually have to trick myself into doing this by making incremental deadlines for parts of a project before the final deadline. When I worked in advertising I had a sign on my bulletin board that read, "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." I just have to make some mental adjustments about when the last minute arrives.
Consistency Doing things consistently seems to be the real difficulty for us all. Often it takes an outside event or someones intervention to wake us up. For instance, the rap on the SD Chargers this season is they are inconsistent, brilliant one quarter, terrible the next. Because of their embarrassing losses team members are soul-searching and finding the cause in the mirror. Recently Mike Huckabee, presidential candidate, has been talking about his 100 lb. weight loss. He said his constant stabs at yo-yo dieting resulted in his weight going up, not down. It took a embarrassing event -- he collapsed a chair at a public committee meeting -- to finally force him to make the needed changes. The Palestinians and Isrealis don't have the determination to make peace yet themselves, they need outside intervention or a crisis to bring them to the peace table. Apparently the crisies or interventions haven't worked yet. We have to wait for a series of natural disasters and the melting of icecaps before we do something about global warming, or even admit it exits. Fires have to knock on our doors before we come up with better prevention methods.
Consistency is one of most desired business practices as well. It's what Six Sigma is all about. More on that in a future post.
I'm reminded of the old joke: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: One. But the light bulb has to want to change.
Do I want to change enough yet? Do we want to change enough yet? Time will tell.
Appreciation
In order to be motivated to change and make greater efforts on the job, or whatever we do, an important ingredient is expressing praise or appreciation. With that in mind I participated in two activities this week centered on appreciation.
My son and I marched in the Mother Goose Parade on Sunday with his boy scout troop carrying a big banner thanking the firefighters. Then Thursday was, of course, Thanksgiving Day. A day to reflect on what we should be thankful for.
My son got an extra lesson in being thankful by volunteering to help serve Thanksgiving meals to the homeless. He's led a sheltered life in our home and has not yet been that exposed to the less fortunate. All the servers had to wear the same clothes, long sleeved white dress shirt, black pants and black dress shoes. The reason for the dress code is to show respect to the people they were serving. They may be poor, but they all deserve to be treated with dignity. He came home a little subdued from the experience, but with a new appreciation for what he has.
After Thanksgiving The Saturday after Thanksgiving I took my son and one of his classmates to the local mall to see the 3D version of Beowulf. Walking from my car to the theater I saw two of my ex-high school students. They were both very happy to see me and they seemed to be doing well. They both asked the same thing, "Mr. Dean, where is my DVD." I created a DVD of the best work the students did last school year, but haven't printed out and distributed it yet. Guess I better do that to show my appreciation for their hard work. They both made wonderful videos.
The Beowulf visuals were pretty amazing. The level of detail down to the minute facial hairs were faithfully rendered. The mo-cap animation is still not perfect, but it's getting there. 3D glasses still give me a headache, though. Can't wait for the technology that doesn't require glasses.
Appreciating the Troops If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com; you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.
